Members' Testimonies

My testimony - Nicki’s

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My Dad was strict and abusive. We had some fun times, but not many. Mom and Dad spent a lot of time arguing. Mom had affairs and my Dad was controlling. I never liked my Dad when I was young. I felt we could never open up to him. We were all frightened to ask him for anything. My Mom begged him many times on Sunday for a treat for us. I have three brothers and one sister. When my Mom left my Dad she moved straight in with another man. I went with her and my little sister and brother. My other two brothers stopped with my Dad. This was sad because I was really close to my one brother.

My mom and my step dad (They got married) had many physical fights. So bad sometimes we would see Mom getting kicked on the floor and there was nothing we could do. My Step dad was in his room once and I was in mine. I saw him naked. He was being indecent. He saw me watching and told me later when he took be to school. I was around eleven. He started to expose himself to me and lie on top of me. He would open the bathroom door when I was in there because there was no lock. I didn’t like being in the house alone with him. I never told Mom. I thought it was my fault. I started stealing money off them because of the abuse.

At fifteen I ran away and got pregnant. I was in and out of hostels smoking, taking cannabis and when I got pregnant I felt sick so I couldn’t smoke! I moved back in with my Mom. I gained a lot of weight. My Mom and step dad soon showed me how this displeased them. They would say, “I’ll pay you if you lose weight. Fat is ugly.” I did lose weight and my Mom helped me to get my own place. I was alright for a bit. My brother came to live with me and I started hanging around with the wrong people again, and going out a lot. He would baby sit. It all became very immoral.

I then moved back home after my mom and step dad saw the way I was living. My brother burned my kitchen down one night because of a chip pan fire! I soon moved again and I made two male friends. They came to my house one with two other men. One of the men said that my two friends had stolen from him. It was nothing to do with me. He put a knife to my throat and made them take off their clothes. I was able to leave the room and he hit them with a dog chain lead. Blood was all over the room. I couldn’t move for the shock of what happened.

I then, met another abusive man. He was an alcoholic. I then became pregnant and bulimic. After my second child, I lost a baby. I was two and a half months pregnant. Then I moved again and we split up because he was having an affair. I made friends with my mom and step dad and got a job in Kwiksave.

I went out clubbing. Life seemed normal. What I thought was normal anyway. Then after a couple of years of abusing my body, my knees went on me. I could just barely walk for two years, had to manage two children, shopping, etc. My legs started to heal and then I met another abusive man. He was so sweet at first, but then we started smoking cannabis and drinking and he abused me and my children. I started to lose my

memory and fell into deep depression. This man claimed to be a Christian. It was his dad that was a Christian, and he even showed me videos of Jesus, Moses, Abraham. I think God for this now! I then started to go to church with a friend. Then one night I had a vision to come to Temple Baptist Church where I got saved and baptised.

Not long after, my children got saved and baptised. The Lord delivered me from drugs, drink, and smoking and healed my legs! For six months I felt great, like a new person. I even passed my NVQ Level 2 in teaching swimming!

Then, I was to go on a journey with my Saviour where I had to learn to forgive which meant facing my step dad, letting go of any anger, resentment, bitterness, pride, control, and he showed me why people do the things they do including me! And what sin does to us. It has been an emotional journey, but worth it! I am now getting over my bulimia by God’s grace. I have had the chance to start life again. The Lord’s way! My children and I are all being healed emotionally by God! I thank the Lord for choosing us and for His many blessings. The Lord is now turning me into the person he made me to be. He can get you through anything. I know all that time God looked after me! I look back and see all the times He was there and also all the people He put there who needed to be there! I can now thank God for my life. Psalms 139 is one chapter God used to showed me that He is always thee. Thank You, Jesus!

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